So you have been asked to deliver a eulogy due to your close personal relationship with the deceased, which plays an important role in any funeral service, given that the family is placing their trusts in you to pay tribute to the deceased’s memories on behalf of family and friends. So consider this a great honour that’s being bestowed upon you for you are the chosen representative or spokesperson!
There is no need to feel uncomfortable or nervous as long as the eulogy comes from the heart. And it could be one of the very best things that you can do to overcome your own grief.
But I can’t write …
You do not need to be JK Rowling to write a eulogy. Your job as a eulogist is to tell a story. One that is honest, true and heartwarming.
Throw out the common misconception that a eulogy has to be a summary of the deceased’s life. Objectively, a good eulogy is first and foremost a conveyance of true feelings and experiences between the eulogist or family member and the deceased himself/herself. It does not have to be a formal speech. In fact, we believe that an informal, conversational tone works best.
In short, just speak/write from your heart because there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way for writing one.
Ideas on what I can include in the eulogy?
To give you some guidelines, we recommend that you think and pen down some of the following:
What is your relationship with the deceased? How did you come to know him/her?
The deceased’s favourite things (such as poems, books, quotes, music, movies, people, cars, clothing, celebrities etc.)
What made you two so close?
What was the deceased’s personality, character or lifestyle?
What did you and the deceased have in common? Hobbies or interests?
What were the values they treasured most deeply?
Were there any funny moments or jokes which you have encountered with the deceased?
What were the qualities which you admired most about the deceased?
What about him or her will you miss the most? (His or her smile, courage, humility etc. are just some example)
Writing a eulogy of around 800 to 900 words should render a 5 minute ‘speech’.
Alter the length according to the amount of time allocated to you.